I was listening to a lecture that you gave in Vrajabhumi on your last visit to Brazil, and in the class you talk about the fact that some people want to be the center and be loved as a way of wanting to be put in Krishna’s place. I see this a lot in me, this need for attention and to be very important to someone, a need to be loved. So I wonder to what extent is this an anartha. In the same class you also mention how valuable it is to have a true loving relationship, how it is a treasure to have a true friend. So to what point is it legitimate to want affection, to have someone like me, to have a loving relationship? And if it is an anartha, how do I become free from it?
You raise an interesting question which is relevant to all of us. As they say, we must always maintain a balance between the ideal and real.
In Bhagavad-gita 6.16-17, Krishna even says that yoga does not exist for those who eat too much or too little, and so to sleep etc.. Krishna says that we should be moderate even with leisure and recreation – vihara, and at work.
No doubt we should apply the same criteria of moderation in our emotional life. We must clearly understand both the ideal and the real, and thus ascertain our personal balance between the two.
Of course, even the concessions that make the ‘real’ must be spiritual. For example, a devotee who feels he must marry, or have a good friend / etc. will first depend on Krishna and only then accept a marriage or friendship only to the extent that is favorable for their Krishna consciousness.
Also, increasing our consciousness of Krishna, our devotion to Krishna, we have a superior taste and our human needs, even if they do not disappear, diminish. And the less intense are our human needs, the easier it is to satisfy them.